


Breathe

by WorldDominator123



Series: Song fics [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Gen, In the Heights References, Iwaoi-if you squint, Oikawa can sing, Songfic, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:02:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26432353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WorldDominator123/pseuds/WorldDominator123
Summary: They were counting on him, and he had screwed it all up.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Series: Song fics [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1801393
Kudos: 6





	Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya guys! This fic is set right after Aoba Johsai's loss to Karasuno. It was actually inspired by this song from one of my most favorite musicals, In The Heights. Song's called 'Breathe'. There's a link below if you want to listen. Stay safe, comment, and enjoy!
> 
> https://youtu.be/v52GW3Z8YXo

Oikawa sighed in relief as he rushed inside the departing train. Hajime would probably have his head the next time he saw him, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. The doors shut with a click, and he shuffled to the nearest empty. Not that it was very difficult- the subway was seemingly empty for the time being. He sighed to himself, thoughts drifting towards the match earlier today. 

_We lost._

Peering down at his phone, Oikawa sighed again as he shuffled through his playlist of a multitude of songs. His fingers lingered over a familiar song, faint recalls of the melody thrusted forth from his memories. _Why the hell not?_

The chorus of Latino voices resonated in his ears, and he double checked the area before deeming it empty. A stray tear trickled down his face, mouth shaping into a rehearsed syllable.

“Breathe.”

His voice carried a strange beauty, yet held such pain and emotion that one couldn’t compete with. All of his emotions, all of his insecurities, began to pour out in the form of a melodic tune.

“This is my street.”

_His school. His classmates. His teammates._

“I smile at the faces.”

_Fake. All fake._

“I’ve known all my life. They regard me with pride.”

He swiped at the tears that continued to pool at the tips of his lashes. With a few shuddering gasps, he pressed onwards.

“And everyone’s sweet.”

A sharp grin forced its way onto his face before turning his head to face his pitiful reflection on the window. His fingers lightly danced across the image.

“They say, you’re going places!”

_Lies._

“So how can I say that while I was away. I had so much to hide?”

_Cause that’s all I’ve ever done. Hide._

“Hey guys it’s me! The biggest disappointment you know.”

His bitter laughs echoed throughout the metal compartment.

“The kid couldn’t hack it.”

_Stupid Kageyama. Stupid Ushiwaka._

“He’s back, and he’s walking real slow.”

His hands met his thighs once more, eyes shining in a blazing fury.

“Welcome home.”

_Would I be welcomed?_

“Just breathe.”

Taking another deep breath, he leaned his head back, relishing in a momentary peace while the ensemble takes control.

“As the radio plays old forgotten boleros.”

“I think of the days when the city was mine.”

_Hajme. He and him. The dauntless duo._

“I remember the praise. The neighbourhood waved.”

His fingers clenched into a fist when he was reminded of the numerous spectators. They were counting on him, and he had screwed it all up.

“And said, ‘Oikawa, be brave! Te quiero. And you’re gonna be fine!”

His teammates had counted on him. Had given him an unwavering trust.

“And maybe it’s me. But it all seems like lifetimes ago.”

More tears began to slip down, his control slowly wavering.

“So what do I say to these faces that used to know?”

He had let them down. He had let them all down.

“Hey, I’m home?”

He failed.

His resolve crumbled, leaving him in a jumbled mess of tears. His voice now wavered over the resounding chorus.

“They’re not worried about me.”

“They are all counting on me to succeed.”

He stood from his seat, tears continuously pouring from his face as he yelled the lyrics.

“I am the one who made it out!”

“The one who always made the grade!”

_That wasn’t enough though, was it?_

“But maybe I should have just stayed home!”

At this point, all musical sense was lost, only hoarse shouts of desperation ringing around the train.

“When I was a child, I stayed wide awake, climbed to the highest place on every fire escape!”

_Nights spent strategizing against opposing teams wasted._

“Restless to climb!”

_Cause that’s all he’d ever done. Climbing higher and higher, trying to keep up with impossible expectations._

“I got every scholarship, saved every dollar, the first to go to college!”

“How do I tell them why I’m coming back home?”

_If I hadn’t missed that ball, we could’ve gone to nationals._

“With my eyes on the horizon.”

He was on his knees at this point, all attempts of controlling his emotions, by this point, abandoned. His voice regained its melodic whisper, his breathing slowly evening out.

“Just me and my GWB asking ‘Gee Oikawa. What’ll you be?”

His bitter smile was once again etched across his face, a breezy laugh shaking his features, and he slowly regained his composure.

“Straighten the spine. Smile for the neighbors.”

That fake smile which he despised most was once again plastered on his face as the train began to slow.

“Everything’s fine. Everything’s cool.”

_Is it?_

“The standard reply, ‘Lots of tests. Lots of papers.’ Smile, wave goodbye, and pray to the sky. Oh god. ”

_Lies. Lies. Lies._

“And will my parents say?”

Oh god. He’d forgotten about his mother and his sister. What would they think of him now? The great Oikawa Tooru. Now a bunch of ruins.

“Can I go in there and say?”

What would the rest of his team think? What about their families?

“I know that I’m letting you down!”

The doors opened to greet him with an almost empty station, the lone figure of a slightly angry but worried Hajime making his way towards the platform.

A small, genuine smile graced his lips at the sight as he muttered the last words.

**Just breathe.**


End file.
